Be authentic. Be unapologetically you. Believe in yourself. Trust in yourself and your decisions.
Sound familiar?
From motivational quotes that have ruled over Pinterest, to industry buzzwords used to promote podcasts, to common advice we tend to receive from family and friends, these things — although meant to be positive — have slowly but surely, dare I say, lost meaning.
Because although that all sounds great, what does it actually mean?
Especially now, when screens, apps, and algorithms lead our day.
When Did We Stop Checking In With Ourselves?
From checking our For You page, checking in with the group chat, getting “thoughts” from colleagues and family members, oh and not just Googling but opening up our go-to AI app, there are a million hoops to jump through before ever reaching a decision.
Our take?
It’s one thing to seek and genuinely value guidance and feedback. It’s a whole other thing to become utterly dependent on it.
Especially now, when there is always somewhere or someone we can go to first to show us or, in all reality, just tell us what to do.
Question is, are we being unconsciously pressured to filter? Is this the new status quo?
For the last little bit, it sure has felt that way.
What Happens When Everything Has an Answer?
From the rise of how-to videos, influencer marketing, and asking Chat about every little thing, it’s become ever apparent that critical thinking has become almost an afterthought.
Sure, one can argue that before tech, seeking answers to life’s bigger questions has always existed. Books and conversations with our elders being prime examples.
Keyword, though: life’s bigger questions.
Not whether going to this new coffee shop is worth the drive based on reviews from folks I have never met.
Because in reality, the more we seek answers, step-by-step instructions, and especially validation disguised as reassurance, the more we have to lose.
Confidence becomes uncertainty. Curiosity becomes anxiety. Communication becomes scarcity.
The result?
Losing trust within ourselves.
Naturally this can then lead to analysis paralysis, apathy, and even negative self-talk.
Think about it.
When was the last time a decision was made — whether big or small — without running it by something or someone first?
When was the last time a decision was put on hold while you thought about it for a minute or two?
When was the last time a decision revealed itself almost instantly because of a gut feeling?
If, in fact, it’s been a while, perhaps, that’s something to take note of.
Opinions, guides, and suggestions are helpful. With a time and a place.
And maybe that place is after we paused thought about it, and tried something for ourselves first.
What If We Tried First?
Whether it be unconsciously or consciously, it seems as though our excitement, experience, and ultimately, voice has become secondary in this day and age.
As a result, it may serve us well to reframe it and rather than tech and the internet being our default instinct, it becomes a second or even third step in our thought process.
For instance, it can mean noticing when we've reached for our phones before we've given ourselves a moment to process or taking a walk before opening the app.
Maybe, it means writing the thought down before asking Chat what it means.
Or simply, making the decision before checking whether 4,000 strangers on the internet agree with it.
Not because outside opinions, guides, and suggestions aren’t useful.
They are.
But what if they came after the first thought, the first attempt, the first instinct?
What if we gave ourselves something to compare the advice to?
What if we let something be imperfect, inconvenient, unaesthetic, or simply ours?
What if we let ourselves be wrong?
Because at the end of the day, we are the only ones who keep ourselves company 24/7, 365.
And that alone may be the most important reason to get to know, like, and trust ourselves — first.
Because even if it doesn’t turn out to be aesthetically pleasing, tasty, or brilliant, at least we have exercised something way more important:
Going for it in order to learn from it and, ultimately, trusting ourselves more because of it.
On the cover: What slowing down means to me, a good book and even better cup of coffee.
Photo by me :)
Question is...
What would happen if, just for a moment, we trusted ourselves enough to try first?
Talk soon,
Yasmin Vasquez
Founder & Editor, Meraen Publishing
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